And Then He Tried the Whole “Let’s be friends..” Yeah right, I have enough men friends thanks…by Sylvia…

Okay so I am paraphrasing a conversation I had with my girlfriend Michelle as we shared a lunch. Apparently single ladies of all ages have their ups and downs in the relationships department. It’s oddly comforting but depressing too. I’ve got a good decade on her and she can’t find a decent guy?

Yeah, I am dying alone. Make way cat lady. World here I come. Really? Who are you people? This is Sylvia. I am not going gentle into that good night.  Michelle and I have both been trying the whole online dating world thing. So far without much success. However, I do believe that is the wave of the future, especially for people in my age range. But for now it is almost a glorified meat market. I’m not knocking the online experience. I have met some nice people. One I thought was rather interesting, but so far that is all it has amounted to is a passing interest. So back to the life I am living and the lunch with my girlfriend.  I love talking with her because she has such a great way of looking at her life. She inspires me. Michelle has always been one of my no nonsense girlfriends. I need them in my life. I tend to be the flaky one. The only time that is not the case is when I am spending time around theater people. Then I am in my element.  I’m sure my theater friends might feel me flaky as well, but they have grown to accept that as one of my personal quirks.  I have made peace with it. I am embracing my artistic nature.

Michelle and I met for lunch to catch up with what was going on in our lives.  Talking with another adult woman facing similar things in her life helps me through situations that may at other times feel overwhelming.  Life comes at you pretty fast. If you do not have a support system in place it can feel like you were on the tracks when a freight train passed.  It can feel that way when even they are in place and that is when you count your lucky stars that those people are there for you.

In the continued effort to change my life, I am expanding my support system. I used to think of myself as a very social woman.  Taking a hard look I found that I had stopped being her.  That was horrible.  How did I let such a vibrant woman just cease to exist? Well, big girl panties on. I’m back, and with that life lesson learned, for the better. Look in the mirror. What is it that you want? So what is stopping you? Who is responsible for you?  I am not allowing stagnation to settle into my life. Opening up to new people is always a little unsettling, but so far the benefits have been rewarding.  The social circles in which I travel are widening and with them come new ideas, perspectives and friendships.

I was always the luckiest woman in the world to have my Ya-Ya’s at the base of my support system, or else I would never have made it. These women are my heart and soul. They have such a place in my life. I would give them an organ if they asked. Granted mine are pretty well used but at least God can’t say that I wasted them.  These ladies have seen me through every high and every low of my life over the past 18 years and some of the ladies in the group further back than that.  I do not have words to describe them or the thanks to repay all they have done for me.  What I do hope for you all is that you have your support group like I have mine.  So whether your group has been friends for years or you are meeting new people and making the world smaller one person at a time, having people in your life to share your life is something to love. So I am off to do that just that, Today, I am mixing the best of all my worlds. Enjoy whatever it is you do this day with the people that mean something to you.  At the risk of repeating myself…life does come at you pretty fast….better not miss it…..Hey Anabell..BIKE!!!!!

MAIL ORDER MADNESS … by Nan(ny) Goat

I have been asked here today to give you my thoughts about what the “American Spirit” means. I thought about this for a long time. A lot of words crossed my mind: Independence, Freedom, Peace, War, Work.  But I have come to the conclusion that none of these embody the “American Spirit” of our present day.

I think the “American Spirit” can be defined in one word: “Catalogs.”

We are the land of opportunity with the freedom to buy.  Doing it online makes it even easier. Just have your credit card handy.

We have gone from the simpler times of earlier decades to a marketing explosion that tells us we need thousands of very important things. I am not sure how important these important things are.

Do we need a shoulder umbrella for the person who is getting his hair cut at home so the clippings will not fall on the floor?
Do we need plastic flour and sugar keepers? Do we need plastic egg and cheese keepers? Plastic bacon and bologna keepers? Plastic cracker keepers? Or plastic ice cream keepers? Don’t these things come in their own containers? Do we need to house them in another?

I don’t remember a huge need for such items when I was growing up. Apparently, today, people need them. My husband once bought one of those rolling under-the-bed storage things. There is nothing stored in it because it takes too much effort to bend down and roll it out from under the bed.  He also got a fabric shaver that is supposed to remove pills and the like from sweaters. I’ve never seen him use that either. My sweaters still have pills on them.

Then there is this fade cream to remove dark circles from under the eyes. Don’t know if that works or not. Haven’t ordered it and don’t know anyone who has. If it works, I am all for it.

And what about the little ceramic dog that holds three hotdogs on buns for serving. Now, everyone needs one of those!  If you have 21 guests, do you have to buy seven of them? And where do you store those hotdog servers? How often do you serve your guests wieners in buns?

Does your pooch have a Spiderman dog costume?  Don’t deprive him. He’ll need this by Halloween. Act quickly before they are all sold out. There is a three-level, adjustable pet feeder on the market today.  As your dog grows, you change the level to accommodate your dog’s height. Does that protect Fido from the chronic backaches he might get from bending to a doggie bowl way down on the floor?  I don’t know.  There are a lot of “must haves” for dogs and cats out there if pet-lovers give in to such temptations and haven’t already gone over their credit card limit. (Considering our big-spender heritage, it is no wonder there are so many bankruptcy attorneys and consolidate-your-bills businesses advertising on TV and the Internet.)

Freezer labels are okay. We freeze a lot of stuff in our family. And they are pretty cheap.

One of the most interesting things advertised in catalogs is the splatter shield you put around your pan on the stove or the little gizmo that cradles your cooking spoon. Aren’t these simply two more things for you to clean?

And one of the latest amenities is the quesadilla maker.  I didn’t know what a quesadilla was until I went to Texas many years ago. There, you find that tasty appetizer in many restaurants. Its popularity has moved it up North, where you will find it on many menus.  But – do we really need a kitchen appliance specifically designed for quesadilla making.  I don’t think so.  However, I do recall that many, many years ago, electric appliances for making waffles were very much in demand.

My daughter has fallen victim to the lure of cookbook sellers. She must have a hundred, but usually goes back to her old standbys or stained and dog-eared pencil-written recipes from her grandmother or mother-in-law.

There are always interesting T-Shirts you can buy from catalogs. I didn’t buy this one, but I kind of liked the slogan: “I Can Only Be Nice to One Person Today! TODAY IS NOT YOUR DAY. Tomorrow Doesn’t Look Good Either.”

There’s a “Play the Piano Overnight” booklet in a catalog that I found alluring. Then, I remembered  I no longer have a piano.

I did buy one of those door guards to keep out intruders, the kind you put under the door knob. Thought that was a good idea. Can’t remember where I put it. I was not taken in, however, by the candlestick, which is actually a secret place to store cash or valuables. If it’s offered in a catalog with a picture, it’s hardly a secret anymore.

A guy I used to work with was constantly receiving men’s fashion catalogs. He succumbed, and he was getting packages holding treasures of ties, shirts and slacks at least once a week  And half of them he returned because they didn’t fit, were not what he expected from the picture in the catalog, or the color was just not right for him. Frankly, I think just about anyone looks okay in white.  Seems to me this was a lot of energy spent on consumership.  Shopping is not one of my favorite ways to spend time. My husband usually does my shopping for me. He hates it when I wear mustard-colored pants with an orange top. So I have given in entirely to his sense of fashion.  He has three walk-in closets. I have one of those narrow closets with sliding doors.  So I am not a slave to fashion or catalog come-ons.

We are a catalog country.  That’s the American Spirit. Buy it. Doesn’t matter if you need it or will use it.
I would like to return to a time when things were less complicated, when marketing was subtle, when there were no telemarketers, when letters of solicitation were almost non-existent, and your name was never sold to other organizations, and mail boxes held real mail from family and friends.
That won’t happen, of course.  We are customers and customer service is the byword of today.  When those catalogs come in the mail, curiosity takes over. It’s hard to throw them out without taking a peek. And then you’ve got those toll-free numbers!

Maybe – just maybe – I will get another piano, just so I can learn to play it overnight.

I recently found the Google Catalog List!  A real boon for buyers.  Fifty-six pages (in very small type) of wonderful catalogs. A lot of them begin with the name American: American Health & Herbs Ministry, American Identity, American Apparel. My favorite is simply America!  Now that’s the spirit!

And then she says, “I’m a telephone actress” … Insert puzzled look

Love Actually by Sylvia

So here we are days away from Valentines, the holiday that means so much to lovers throughout the world and strikes fear into singles everywhere.  Being single for the first time in years I wasn’t sure how I was going to feel when this day approached. If you had asked me a few months ago, chances are your queries would have been met with a flood of tears.   Now I sit in anticipation because I realize that I am lucky enough to have several valentines. No, not in the lover sense of the word, there is no man in my life swearing undying love for me.  Which is good, it would be a borderline stalker at this point if a man was professing his love for me.  (I am okay however with infatuated or enamored even; those are fantastic adjectives, but I digress).

I thought for sure I would be a hot mess. I did not realize that a heart can and will mend faster if you actually let it.  How have I made it this long and still be so stubborn to life lessons?  I believe it is my stubbornness that gets me through many things, but I forget at times it too should take a break.  But back to the topic at hand, love.  Or in this case, the holiday that celebrates love, Valentine’s Day. We all know what it’s about and when you are single you are supposed to “hate/fear” this holiday.  My daughter and I joked about having an “I Hate Valentines party,” but I don’t hate Valentines.  I love the idea of being in love. I do look forward to the day when I have that special someone in my life. However, until that day arrives I have a whole lot of people in my life that have love to give and I’m blessed they share it with me.

I wish that there wasn’t so much pressure real or imagined placed on this holiday. I miss the days of elementary school when everyone got a card, candy and happy feeling at the end of the day. There was no underlying innuendo, that if you weren’t with someone you were “less than” in the world. How can you not be “loved”, seriously? Can we give me any more reasons to be neurotic?

This is where I take my stand. I want to take back this holiday in the name of love, all love, not just the kind between lovers. I want my daughter to smile because Valentines is around the corner, not joking around with me about planning an anti-valentines party because we’re both single.  Now in her case, I doubt she will be single for any length of time, unless it’s by her own choice.

I know every parent feels their child is beautiful or handsome, and I am no different.  But she is truly beautiful and I don’t mean just on the outside.  The beauty I am talking about is what you don’t see when you look at her. I’m talking about the girl who loves her mother so much that she has come home to “check” on her from college. The girl who babysits her cousins so her Aunt can have a few hours of peace. She’s also a best friend and a sister to four very crazy brothers. The beauty on the inside so outshines what is on the outside I’m always amazed when I am around her.  Now our family has been known to put the fun in dysfunction, but I look at my children and even with all my flaws as a parent I see what incredible people they are becoming. I realize that somewhere I must have done one or two things right.  If nothing else, I hope I’ve taught them to love and be loved.

That is the love I’d like to see celebrated on this holiday, not replacing the lovers mind you, but expanding the base by how we judge the holiday. Instead of being disappointed that you are single, why not be allowed to have your best friend as your valentine, or your family? I’m not knocking love but if you aren’t in a relationship on this holiday you do sort of get left out. I am not going to be left out this year. Yes I am single, but I chose to have a lot of valentines because I do have people that I love and who love me in return.  So, Happy Valentine’s Day to you all and may your hearts be filled with the love you share and receive from the people in your life.

Goat Center Advises Women – Go For The Gold

A 2011 woman may claim to want only a nice guy with a sense of humor, but Goat Center research reveals that male-female attraction is based not in the rational world but in the world of chemistry, metallurgy, and mineralogy. This visceral attraction lives in a molecular – dare we say it – atomic world.

Back to our woman; probably a young woman (But remember in today’s green world where 70 is the new 50 and 30 is the new puberty, “young” has ever so much room to wiggle.); what does she indeed want in a man if not that comic nice fellow.

Starting at the top, she wants thick hair. PLATINUM is good as is SILVER like that found on a playful fox. EBONY offers many shades and colors so is a fine choice for a seeker of variety. Moving on, eyes of AMBER, COBALT, or LIMESTONE are but a few of those that could please. A strong jaw of GRANITE completes a very strong face.

Now to the torso, many compounds come upon the scene. ALABASTER, that finest of GYPSUM works well for the miss who favors the light. And of course there is COPPER, BRONZE, and the EBONY mentioned earlier to provide so many comely hues. As we consider the arms and chest, could our lady put MARBLE out of her mind if she tried?

Further south, we encounter the ubiquitous abs and buns of STEEL. A good quality of STEEL is preferred. Perhaps from England. Certainly no iron as we want to avoid rust, and also because it seems that the word “iron” stirs up negative thoughts in many woman.

Our hypothetical young woman has created for the mind’s eye a rather pleasant imaginary partner. We must, however, remember that such a man is but a physical platform. Compounds, elements, and aggregates are merely matter. They are neither ethical nor spiritual in nature so lack the ability to in fact be the man our lady wants.

Goat Center researchers also state that all chemistry is not created equal. This short essay will not attempt to be comprehensive in this area, but will offer one example. The valuable element Pb or LEAD is key to the production of beautiful glass and also the utility of the pencil. Too much lead though can be problematic. Concentrated too much  in the lower back regions of the male body, it can make escape from the sofa difficult, and cause an alarming reduction in personal industry.

Several female Goat Center personnel also mentioned the efficacy of TUNGSTEN, and likewise said that they had no objection to the Dome of CHROME. Other playful writers said they had a fondness for Buns of Cinnamon.

All, male and female, agreed that the most important element has yet to mentioned. They caution our fictional female to make sure that the man of her dreams has at least a modicum of GOLD in his pocket or his bank. But as important if not more, strive to connect with a man with an authentic heart of GOLD.

Professional & Personal Life – Can I have it all? by Sylvia

So,  a couple of recent events have really perked up my life and self-esteem. First on the plate, while attending an outstanding performance of the Best of Broadway at Breakthrough Theatre in Winter Park, I had the chance to speak to Wade Hair, the artistic director.  I have semi-officially thrown my hat in the ring to be considered as a director there for the fall season.  He didn’t say no, so suggestions anyone? Small cast musical, on the dark side even?  I love this place and want to do a great job.

The newest adventure to arrive my way comes from another wonderful theater group, the Renegade Theater of Orlando, who want
me as their promotional photographer for the Orlando Fringe Festival. Now I am wicked nervous. I take pictures because I like to and for the most part they are fine. But this is a whole different level. I like and respect the people who asked me to be involved in this project and I want to do them proud.  I have been DYING to be involved with the Fringe Festival for years. Then as luck would have it a door had just been flung open. And to think it started almost a year ago when I went to a fundraiser for my friend Joshua.

I’m by no means a professional but the photographs I take mean something to me. I love being able to look back and remember a specific time or event in my life. I have been told by people that I do have a good eye.  Let’s hope they are correct. So with that in mind I said yes and I am now working with Renegade Theater who will be performing at the 20th anniversary of the Orlando Fringe Festival.   I have been doing and probably will do again the Snoopy dance.

With that in mind my career(s) are starting to take shape. What is fun for me is that I am not limited to just one thing. I do believe I have a mild form of ADD. I have a hard time staying focused on one project at a time.  Being able to do different jobs is the best case scenario for me because I don’t have to stick with just one task at hand. I can work on pictures, or write, or (fingers crossed) be working on blocking and set construction.  Another perk is I can work on my own schedule for the most part.  Not to mention it gives me the greatest luxury ever, and that is the ability to be home with my kids.

So here I sit on the precipice of my new life and my professional life is starting to really blossom. Then there is my personal life. It feels with my luck that only one or the other can happen. Not both at the same time. I had the love of my life but no career, now I have several new careers but no love of my life.  Don’t mistake this for me feeling sorry for myself, it’s just an observation. The ironic twist in the whole situation is if I hadn’t lost the love of my life I would not have the career opportunities that have been presented me.  In hindsight I realize I got the better deal.  Wow, never thought I’d utter those words out loud let alone put them in print for the whole world to read.

Regarding personal self-actualization, when I get involved with a guy I tend to lose myself. It doesn’t happen at first, but gradually over time. That isn’t their fault. If you let me I will try to take care of you. That can start a downward spiral which is a whole different post. So with my new found life comes a realization that I need to stay focused on me.  People who know me will gain a small chuckle here because it’s always said I love the world to revolve around me.  But for once it’s true, I am responsible for me all aspects of me, my life, family, career and one day love.  I’m excited at the prospect of what is heading my direction.  And for the record, yes there has been some interest in the personal life.  I have a whole post in my head about dating in your forties, never thought I’d be eager to write about that. Again, life is full of twists and if you allow things to unfold it’s amazing at what turns up. So onwards and upwards I go. Wish me luck!